dear locs,

i’m writing you, because… i’ve been hard on you lately. i thought you’d be at a different place after a year. i was blaming you for not being at that place, when it was the fault of my thoughts, envisioning what a year would feel like having never experienced it.

and now i see that, you’re exactly where you need to be, and you’re beautiful just as you are. sometimes i think, i’ve made too many mistakes for you to turn out right.

i shouldn’t have twisted then.

i shouldn’t have used that.

i’m using the wrong method, or, shouldn’t have changed methods.

like, when you first started growing, i worried you wouldn’t be big enough, but now as you fill out, i think, what if the roots aren’t strong enough.

but you’ve never failed me. despite the doubts, you’ve turned my mistakes into intricate details in your design that add to everything you mean to me. and you were there when…

i was in front of the mirror with scissors

and there when…

i forgot that i dreamed of you before him

and, too, when…

i said you weren’t beautiful because i doubted myself

not only did you continue growing in the direction you needed to, but you taught me lessons in the process. that enrich my livelihood and purpose, the reason i chose you, but you stuck around when i forgot that. and, how could i know it’d be so profound, even when i knew it would be?

and sometimes now you take a backseat because, for better or worse, regardless of your faults, i know you’re sticking around, so i take you for granted (like all things we believe aren’t leaving us, though all things are). and even then, you teach me that that’s what love is, and love me through that.

so, it’s almost been a year. even if at some point we have to part ways, i’ll never doubt that you were worth it, because through you i learned my roots were strong enough to begin with.